Dead End

How much lower can we fall. We became addicted to pain and tears. Torment became our daily nourishment and still we seek for even more sorrow and sadness. The night is now my only companion and the solitude my guide. No one listens to the wind anymore. We are dead, hollow. I feel betrayed by life, by my family, by my friends. I try to go along with the stream, but I can't handle people. I can't stand anything anymore. The black hole that used to be in my chest has now spread. It's everywhere, inches away from consuming me completely. The hate is growing stronger by the second. I hate you for being a coward, I hate you for being weak but most of all, I hate what you have become. The question you never asked, has an answer. You know the truth now. You are living in a Dead End.

Walking the edge..

I have started this entry 10 times and I still can't put into words this pressure in my chest.

Ghost from the past had reappeared, stronger than before. They hunt my dreams, my days, my nights. Everywhere I look there is a reminder of the shallow, empty person I became. I can no longer look out the window without my shadow getting in the way.

I have become everything I hate. Everything I swore no to be. I try to take the Red out but I'm a coward. I can't accept the dawn. I am afraid that everything I have imagine might be true. So I walk the edge of these two worlds. The one I created for protection and the one lurking outside, waiting to take me.